


Gays Gotta Gay - A Shadowhunters group chat

by alexrin



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, BAMF Izzy, Clizzy - Freeform, F/F, Gen, Group chat, M/M, Malec, Saphael, bamf Magnus, jace - Freeform, mentioned Jimon, shadowhunters texting, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2020-05-13 17:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexrin/pseuds/alexrin
Summary: The OG Shadowhunters crew (and Maia) are in a group chat. It’s a mess.





	1. Friends, the group chat

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first group chat fic. please leave comments/kudos if you liked it. :)
> 
> —  
> alexander

**thejewhasrisen** has added  **aleclightwood** ,  **iamyourgod** ,  **clorox** ,  **maiaroberts** , and  **izzyfights** to the chat. 

 

**thejewhasrisen** has renamed the chat  **friends** . 

 

**thejewhasrisen** : Hi, guys!!

 

**aleclightwood** has left the chat. 

 

**clorox** has added  **aleclightwood** to the chat. 

 

**clorox** : you stay. 

 

**aleclightwood** : no. 

 

**aleclightwood** has left the chat. 

 

**maiaroberts** has added  **aleclightwood** to the chat. 

 

**aleclightwood** : fine. 

 

**iamyourgod** : hello peasants 

 

**izzyfights** : now that we’re all together, we can talk about a big issue we’ve been having! 

 

**aleclightwood** : What? 

 

**izzyfights** : The fact that you’re head over heels for a certain Magnus Bane.. 

 

**aleclightwood** : I am straight. 

 

**clorox** : no you’re not. 

 

**thejewhasrisen** : youre not 

 

**maiaroberts** : Oh please

 

**aleclightwood** : I am. 

 

**thejewhasrisen** : wait THE Magnus Bane?

 

**izzyfights** : THE Magnus Bane. 

 

**thejewhasrisen** has added  **glitterbabe** to the chat. 

 

**glitterbabe** : WTF? 

 

**aleclightwood** : Nothing, Simon’s being a dick. 

 

**izzyfight️s** : no, he’s being helpful. 

 

**iamyourgod** changed  **aleclightwood’s** name to  **alecisabighomo** . 

 

**alecisabighomo** : HEY!! 

 

**glitterbabe** : Sharon why did you add me? 

 

**thejewhasrisen** : for the last time, it’s SIMON. 

 

**thejewhasrisen** : S. I. M. O. N. and because Alec loves you. 

 

**iamyourgod** : he just choked. 

 

**alecisabighomo** has left the chat. 

 

**izzyfights** has added  **alecisabighomo** to the chat. 

 

**alecisabighomo** has left the chat. 

 

**clorox** has added  **alecisabighomo** to the chat. 

 

**alecisabighomo** has left the chat. 

 

**glitterbabe** has added  **alecisabighomo** to the chat. 

 

**glitterbabe** has changed  **alecisabighomo’s** name to  **aleclightwood** . 

 

**glitterbabe** : stay? 

 

**aleclightwood** : Okay. 

 

**iamyourgod** :  _ w h i p p e d  _

 

**aleclightwood** : Simon, this is for you. 

 

**aleclightwood** has added  **raphaelsantiago** to the chat. 

 

**raphaelsantiago** : no

 

**thejewhasrisen** : it’s for us friends 🙂

 

**raphaelsantiago** : yes 

 

**iamyourgod** :  _ w h i p p e d  _

 

**raphaelsantiago** : That’s what you’re gonna be. 

 

**maiaroberts** : I LEAVE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND HFFKLAKSJFFKSLSJFHJF- 

 

**clorox** : oops? 

 

**clorox** : hey, mangos?

 

**clorox** : Magnus* 

 

**glitterbabe** : 😤 What? 

 

**clorox** : do all of us a favor and ask alec out. 

 

**glitterbabe** : ok

 

**glitterbabe** : alec? 

 

**aleclightwood** : Yes. 

 

**izzyfights** has changed their name to  **issabouttime** . 

 

**thejewhasrisen** : Whoo!! 

 

**glitterbabe** has changed  **thejewhasrisen’s** name to  **sharon** . 

 

**sharon** : what the hell man

 

**glitterbabe** : my finger slipped. 🤷🏽♀️

 

**sharon** : 🙄😠

 

**raphaelsantiago** : I’m gonna go now.

 

**sharon** : nO please stay 😢

 

**raphaelsantiago** : Alright, I’m not going anywhere. 

 

**iamyourgod** :  _ W H i P p e D  _

 

**raphaelsantiago** has renamed the chat  **Ducks** .  

 

**iamyourgod** : nOoo 😱😳

 

**iamyourgod** has renamed the chat  **Homosexuals** . 

 

**raphaelsantiago** has removed  **iamyourgod** from the chat. 

 

**aleclightwood** has added  **juicewayland** to the chat. 

 

**aleclightwood** : He made me. 

 

**raphaelsantiago** : Why do you have a second account? Also, not all of us are gay here. 

 

**glitterbabe** : Raphael,,, you’re gay, hon. 

 

**raphaelsantiago** : No, but okay. 

 

**glitterbabe** : you like sofihwjkclskhah

 

**clorox** : wot?

 

**issabouttime** : whomst ?

 

**sharon** : *cue confusion from everyone*

 

**glitterbabe** : HE FUCKING ATTACKED ME 

 

**maiaroberts** : language 

 

**clorox** has changed their name to  **chlorophyll** . 

 

**chlorophyll** : you came back just for that? 

 

**maiaroberts** : yes. Why are you chlorophyll??

 

**chlorophyll** : idk 

 

**aleclightwood** : I leave for less that a minute. 

 

**raphaelsantiago** : WHY DO YOU HAVE A SECOND ACCOUNT JACE

 

**juicewayland** : 😏

 

**aleclightwood** changed their name to  **alightwood** . 

 

**alightwood** : Because he knew he’d be kicked out. 

 

**juicewayland** has changed  **raphaelsantiago’s** name to  **ralph** . 

 

**ralph** : ah hell nah 

 

**sharon** : 🤨 you?? said that??🤯

 

**sharon** has changed  **glitterbabe’s** name to  **mongoose** . 

 

**sharon** : i thought it was funny

 

**juicewayland** : Alec why is your door locked? 

 

**mongoose** : he’s a ltitle busy right now.

 

**mongoose** : little 

 

**chlorophyll** : TMI guys. 

 

**alightwood** : Were you seriously texting when I was sucking your dick?

 

**mongoose** : i’m a good multitasker 

 

**juicewayland** : STOP TALKING 

 

**sharon** : juice, you have no room to talk. remember that time when you were playing angry birds while i went down on you?

 

**chlorophyll** : u wot mate?🤯🤯🤯

 

**juicewayland** : THEY WERENT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT🤬😡🤬😡

 

**mongoose** : #exposed 

 

**sharon** : Where’d Raph go? 

 

**ralph** : I’m with Maia 

 

**maiaroberts** : He’s sulking. 

 

**chlorophyll** changed their name to  **clizzyfray** . 

 

**issabouttime** : why’s he sulking? and he lets simon call him raph?????? 

 

**issabouttime** changed their name to  **clizzyfightwood** . 

 

**clizzyfray** : awwww🥰😘

 

**juicewayland** changed sharon’s name to  **santiagosbaby** . 

 

**santiagosbaby** : i’m sorry what? 

 

**clizzyfray** : simons choking, i’m going to get a snack. 

 

**clizzyfray** : raphael just came in? how? why? 

 

**mongoose** : 😉😉😉😉

 

**clizzyfray** has changed  **ralph’s** name to  **momfriend** . 

 

**clizzyfray** : it was weird. 

 

**clizzyfray** : SOMETHING JUST HIT THE WALL  DID SIMON THROW SOMETHING 

 

**maiaroberts** : 😉😏

 

**clizzyfray** : OH MY GOD I’VE GOTTA LEAVE,, IZZY IM COMING OVER 

 

**clizzyfightwood** : yssss. 

 

**mongoose** : well jace you lost your chance with sarah. 

 

**mongoose** renamed the chat  **ggtg** . 

 

**maiaroberts** : ??? 

 

**mongoose** : gays got to gay 

 

**clizzyfray** changed  **alightwood’s** name to  **alecgaywood** . 

 

**alexgaywood** : Why? 

 

**mongoose** changed  **alecgaywood’s** name to  **prettyboy** . 

 

**prettyboy** : 😩🤤🍆💦💦

 

**juicewayland** : did not need that image in my mind

 

**mongoose** removed  **juicewayland** from the chat. 

 

**maiaroberts** added  **juicewayland** to the chat. 

 

**juicewayland** : thx 

 

**santiagosbaby** : i’m back 

 

**momfriend** : So am I. 

 

**clizzyfightwood** : saphael is canon 

 

**clizzyfray** : yisssss 

 

**mongoose** : my otp!! 

 

**prettyboy** : I thought we were your otp 😢

 

**mongoose** : i retract my previous statement, malec is otp. 

 

**momfriend** : Wayland, you should’ve told me how good Simon is in bed. 😏

 

**juicewayland** has left the chat. 

 

**santiagosbaby** added  **juicewayland** to the chat. 

 

**santiagosbaby** changed  **juicewayland’s** name to  **johnnyboy** . 

 

**clizzyfray** : GET UP JOHNNY BOY BECuseA WE ALL NEEDYOU NOW

 

**momfriend** : What the hell. 

 

**mongoose** : guys watch this 

 

**mongoose** changed  **johnnyboy’s** name to  **duckboi** . 

 

**mongoose** renamed the chat  **DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK** . 

 

**duckboi** : nOOOOO NO NO N O 

 

**mongoose** changed their name to  **magicduck** . 

 

**mongoose** changed  **prettyboy’s** name to  **alightduck** . 

 

**santiagosbaby** changed their name to  **sillyduck** . 

 

**momfriend** changed their name to  **rainingducks** . 

 

**clizzyfray** changed their name to  **claryducks** . 

 

**claryducks** changed  **clizzyfightwood’s** name to  **issaduck** . 

 

**maiaroberts** changed their name to  **amaiaduck** . 

 

**duckboi** changed their name to  **johnnyboy** . 

 

**johnnyboy** has left the chat. 

 

**magicduck** changed their name to  **mongoose** . 

 

**mongoose** changed  **alightduck’s** name to **prettyboy** . 

 

**sillyduck** has changed their name to  **thejewhasrisen** . 

 

**thejewhasrisen** added  **johnnyboy** to the chat. 

 

**johnnyboy** : i hate all of you 

 

**johnnyboy** : even me?

 

**johnnyboy** : no bby i love you 

 

**thejewhasrisen** : what the fuck. 

 

**thejewhasrisen** changed  **rainingduck’s** name to  **biter** . 

 

**claryducks** : we didn’t need to know that. 

 

**issaduck** changed their name to  **inchworm** . 

 

**amaiaduck** changed their name to  **maiaroberts** . 

 

**johnnyboy** : clary. change your name. 

 

**claryducks** : nEVER

 

**thejewhasrisen** : did you guys know raph bites your collarbone when he orgasms? 

 

**biter** : SIMON LEWIS

  
  



	2. Crackhead Bros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i haven't updated in forever 
> 
> -alexander

**prettyboy** removed **mongoose** from the chat. 

 **prettyboy** : I need help. 

 **johnnyboy** : Why did you take out Magnus?

 **claryducks** changed their name to **cloroxfray**. 

 **cloroxfray** : a whole sentence?? from jace??

 **prettyboy** : GUYS!

 **cloroxfray** : what alec?

 **prettyboy** : Mags is so hot and I hfjkakdhdjkss

 **thejewhasrisen** : He’s been reborn as a baby gay. 

 **johnnyboy** : shut up Si i remember when u were like that 

 **maiaroberts** : Guys. I am in class. 

 **maiaroberts** has left the chat. 

 **biter** added **maiaroberts** to the chat  

 **biter** : As am I, but I’m staying. 

 **thejewhasrisen** : stop being so formalllll 

 **biter** : fine 

 **biter** changed their name to **informallyraphael**. 

 **informallyraphael** : Happy? 

 **thejewhasrisen** : no 

 **cloroxfray** : GUYYYYSS we have to help alec!!!! 

 **prettyboy** : I- I can't even with him.

 **thejewhasrisen** : stfu, ur gay

 **prettyboy** : Let me live my life 

 **prettyboy** : . PERIODT 

 **cloroxfray** : HE DID WHt? 

 **cloroxfray** : ask him out or i will 

 **inchworm** : 😳 noooooo!

 **maiaroberts** : GUYS! 

 **johnnyboy** added **mongoose** to the chat. 

 **johnnyboy** : heY buddy! 

 **mongoose** : What was that for?

 **prettyboy** : asdfJKL kdkdllslf

 **mongoose** : Yes darling, I know 

 **johnnyboy** : someone's got a crusshhhhh

 **mongoose** : Thank you, captain obvious 

 **prettyboy** : WHAT? 

 **mongoose** : We've been on dates before??

 **inchworm** : WHAT? 

 **informallyraphael** : WHAT? 

 **thejewhasrisen** : YOU WOT MATE? 

 **prettyboy** : We've not been on dates? 

 **mongoose** removed **prettyboy** from the chat. 

 **mongoose** : WHA T? I THOUGHT WE WERE DATING! 

 **thejewhasrisen** : no! he's been gushing over you for the past Forever!!! 

 **mongoose** : ohh... 


End file.
